Lobotomy

l·bäˑ·t·mē
n an infrequently performed surgical separation of the nerve fibers that connect the thalamus to the frontal lobes. This procedure is typically used in the treatment of certain mental disorders, such as severe depression. Also called
leukotomy.
(http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Lobotomy)

Ever feel like doing this to yourself? Don't lie.
I know you have.
There are those stupid days where everything affects you tho the nth degree.

Today has been one of those days. I would love to just remove an entire chunk of grey matter and toss it out. It's not like anything dramatic happened. No end of the world stuff to speak of, just little reminders that I am still broken and not quite where I want to be.

If you were to speak to any of my friends they might tell you that I can be forgetful, unfortunately I am more than just forgetful.

For example. I couldn't get any one's name right today. I called my husband Bobby "Peter" (my brothers name) I called my father "Bob" ( my husbands name), my cell phone rang and I answered it as if I were at the real estate office. "Century 21 P___ F____" I almost lost my mind seeing as it was a client for my event coordination business. I can't continue to have slip ups like this...
these mistakes only continue to remind me that I will never be the same.

Later I had to finish some shopping, visit with the fam, and come home. Bringing the groceries home wasn't easy. It hurt. I couldn't carry them. "The Bob" (big strong beefy husband) was there and grabbed the vast majority of things. I told him we can make two trips (hoping he would agree because I knew it was going to hurt) he said it would be a waste of time and one trip would be better. I had dreaded this.
So I took the four little bags that were left, and felt like my back would break, my knees would give out, and my arms would fall off.

Every one, I mean every one "forgets" the extent of injury that I incurred so few years ago. I can't expect people to understand or remember. Especially if you were to look at me I highly doubt that you would think that any thing at all is the matter with me.

I have 2 rather large scars on my arm (one on the outside and one on the inside) and I hated them from the start. At first I would do every thing I could to hide them. This wasn't a difficult task at first. I had to wear a splint and it was winter. As spring and summer came along I had some serious anxiety about people seeing the scar and how they would feel about it. Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? I was worried about others finding my arm visually appalling. My mother caught on to my anxiety, and sat me down for a "talk". She said in Greek "Many will see it, but few will notice it. Don't pay it any mind and no one else will"
I tested out her theory, and if I didn't draw attention to my arm no one else noticed it. I mean there are a couple of really observant people out there who did but for the most part I escaped the glares, and "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM" bullshit.
(these days I've come to accept it as a part of me and don't care much about others thoughts on it)
I've perfected the art of flying under the radar. I never harped on the fact that I was hurting, I never let people know how seriously fucked in the head I was, I tried so hard to hide how broken I actually was so that others around me didn't see it or any of my issues any more.
In a way it was a fabulous feeling to be considered just like every one else, and not constantly asked "are you ok" for the sake of asking the poor little gimp is she's fine.
I especially tried hard to look as happy as possible when I spent all those months bedridden, the other months on end when I was in a wheelchair, or when I had to learn how to walk for the second time in my life (the first time was obviously as a toddler).
WHO FORGETS HOW TO WALK????? WTF???
Well people who suffer from severe trauma, physiological and psychological can have issues with all motor skills.
Muscle memory... what muscle memory?

So when people ask me to carry things, lift things, laugh when I forget a name, or a term I try so hard to put on a brave face and do my best to carry on, but I secretly resent them for "forgetting" how close to deaths door I was. It's impossible to recover from those injuries especially in your 30's in just few years.
I have tried ...
I'm afraid that I won't have too many good years past this year.

I might be a little more sensitive to it all this week seeing as it's crash birthday time. It's so weird for me, because it's also my Husbands Birthday tomorrow. I am trying really hard to keep busy planning his party so I don't think too much about me. It's not working today.

So when you think your ready for a D.I.Y. LOBOTOMY, just remember your not alone, shit happens, every one forgets and life goes on.

Watching TV....

So I turned on the Boob Tube today there it was... Pretty in Pink, and I was whooshed back to the 80's.
This was the first movie I was allowed to go see with out my parents, mind you I was only allowed to go because I went with an older cousin.
Still I sort of remember loving watching this movie on the big screen. I think we saw it down town somewhere.
I felt so grown up and independent. Then I was totally dumbfounded by all the feelings that came with that stupid movie.
The first chick flick in the life of crash... :D

It's no wonder I don't watch chick flicks now.
Meh.

Forks...

Don't run with them.

On Expression of Inner Turmoil

I was speaking with one of the girls at the office tonight. We talked about Blogs and why we do it. If some one who had never seen a blog before or knew anything about them looked at the mass of people who blog and how much is actually put on blog sites every day, would they think there's something wrong with this world?

There are so many types of Bloggers it's hard to give an accurate break down of them all.

Here are a few:
There are the EMO Bloggers who write about all thier emotional breakthroughs, baggage, bad days and how they hate the world we live in.

There are the Techno Bloggers. All they do is write about the interweeb, WOW raids and of course how could we live with out their ever present babble and reviews of new tech products.
(ok I secretly read some of these)

The Business Blogger. These people only write or hire some one to write so that they can further market their businesses and products. I am pretty sure they don't do any other kind of blogging. It's all based around what they do, and information about their particular industry (You may be hard pressed to find useful information). You may find a personal moment every once in while when reading those blogs, but for the most part they are meant to be an infomercial .

Then you have the Bloggers like Lisa, Mabel and I. I guess our blogs can be considered more of an online journal or diary. I don't know what it is about getting all these words out on the screen that soothes the inner spirit but it works. That's why we do it.

I cover some really personal things in my blog, and sometimes I cloak them in humor. Other times I need to lash out at the world and you'll find some random rant about elbows or something absolutely psycho like that.

I love the fact that I can just sit on the couch in front of the T.V. with my notebook on my lap and can get all this stuff out. Somedays I am just so amazed at the things I can find online I have to post something. Other days I'm life's practical joke so I write about it thinking some one might else might find the humor in it or even relate.

Some of my goals include using the blog to hone my skills as a writer. I love to write. I may not be very good at it but I love doing it. If it helps sort out some inner turmoil along the way then... SO BE IT... See you in the next post.

The Laws of Attraction

What the hell does this really mean?
I hear people discuss the “laws of attraction” in relation to business, and their personal life.
The basis of this philosophy or mantra is that positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative, and positive repels negative and vice versa ergo if you are a positive thinker, give positive vibes only positive things will happen to you.

Does this sound like a crock of shit or what?

It’s always good to be around positive people both in a professional setting, and in personal relationships because their positive attitudes rub off on you, and you can continue the cycle by rubbing off on some one else. This I believe is a fabulous way of living. I love smiling, and bringing laughter in to the lives of my workmates, friends and family but does this mean that nothing bad will ever come my way?
Lets be real folks.
Just because you smile, and say nice things it doesn’t mean that you are going to get all the things you have on your life wish list.

Bad things happen to the best of people, and AMAZING things happen to the worst people. This is the circle of life.
Don’t be nice because you think you’re going to get something from it. Be nice because you feel it’s the right thing to do.
Karma shouldn’t be considered a reward for going out of your way to do good just so you can have good karma. I hate to say this but it doesn’t work that way.

Because I work in real estate, I am exposed to Agents, and I am beginning to realize that besides the fact that most of them are bottom feeders, they are all superstitious, and believe in motivational speakers and their messages. They buy tickets to a ton of these motivational mentorship conventions, and seminars. They spend huge cash doing it.
The irony is that for the most part the vast majority of these people is morally decrepit, not one ethical bone in the body to speak of, and they stab each other in back in every possible way but when they make it back to the office after one of those seminars they start spouting off all kinds of bullshit about positivity and helping each other… ARG.

I guess what I am trying to say for the most part is this.
Be who you are. Try to do well for yourself and do well by others. There will be days that life will absolutely suck, but there will always be another day to make it better.
Don’t be one of those freaking dolts who try to reverse bad things by becoming Mother Teresa. Things never work out that way.

Stupid Agents got me thinking about mantras...

Google Image Searches...

I thought it might be fun to search out images that portrayed "CRAZY" when I stumbled upon this image. I'm not so sure this is what I was originally looking for, but it struck a cord with me...

I often wonder what I will be like when I get older. Will I be the cute little greek granny that we all know and love, OR will I be the bitter abrasive biznatch that I am now... just older?

I can almost see it now:
I'm eighty years old barreling down the street in my rusted out Yukon with HUGE mud and ice tires. Blasting Rancids Destination Unknown giving little kids the finger.
They'll call me the crazy truck grandma... (I can't be the cat lady because that title is saved for Liz, and I'm allergic)

Seriously though... I don't know if I'll be the black dress wearing pita making Yia Yia that my mother will be and my Grandmothers are. I love them, and they are the cutest things on the face of this planet but I just can't see myself like that. I suppose if I have children my outlook might change. For the most part though I'm not planning on the procreation part of marriage. (The sexy time can stay :D )

Psychosis via Osmosis

This should be a medical term... For real.
Ever noticed when you spend a lot of time with some one who's nuts you become nuts yourself?
It's hard to see it happening because it takes time.
Once you realize this is happening to you RUN... RUN FOR THE HILLS.

Things to make Lise Smile...

Ok so this might be a little extreme but my bud Lisa is feeling pretty down... So I thought I would share some pictures with the world from our world.... I will do my best to explain each shot to the best of my ability....
Immediately to the right is a pic of me givving the double Toronto salute... today I would like to dedicate the salute to some one we know... You know who you are...
This salute is meant for you to see what a freaking dink you are. Glad your gone.. Hope you stay gone for a while... I think I look good in that pic. :D

To the left is a picture of myself and Lise from my self=destructive days... I always find it funny that I look better then than I do know. Any how it was Martins Birthday Party and we got took him out for dinner and got smashed... by the end of the night Martin was covered in permanent ink. And when I say covered I mean from forhead to loin... :D He actually passed out in the bar... I think he had fun. We did.






This next picture is of my husband Bob on our Honeymoon Disney World... I took a thousand pictures of him trying on different Mickey Mouse ears. He was becoming incredibly annoyed with me. I even made him try on the Rasta ears. I show you guys that pic another day, these are for Lise. I swear he is still mad at me for the hats... It's been a year.
To the right is a picture of Ben Bostrom... Motorcycle racer extraordinaire. and isn't he hot naked? lol

I think he is. Infact I think that all good looking Motorcycle Racers should pose for photos like this. It might actually bring a whole new group of followers to the Sport. I almost forgot there was a bike in that picture. :D



To the right... one of the unforgettable nights out with Lisa... There have been so many wicked nights out. Birthdays and such. this one is one of the most recent. It was my Halloween stagette. It was a great time. Before we went to the Club we stopped for dinner. Korean BBQ ROCKS! then it was Grand Marnier all night long. WOO HOO... the club sucked but the company was just what we needed. The guy in the picture is some random dummy who felt left out. I am so glad that I got to share such an important night with Lisa and the rest of the gang. The gang that is always there. You guys have never let me down.
LisaI'll be there for you even when it's tough.

Look at that smile... Would I lie to you?
I look like a used care sales person ... :D
I should sell bikes for a living.

Oh ya... this one is from bob to the DICK!
He says you can come stay here anytime.



LOVE YOU!


Ps I wish we had pictures of the Aurora Borealis :D

Why can some see and others can't?

How do some know and others don't? I just want to know what part of my brain do I need to retrain? (look..I'm a poet and I didn't know it .. Pee Wee)

There are a select group of people in my life who are spot on when it comes to making calls on people in my life. For some reason I never listen. I think I might actually have the same gut feelings but don't pay attention to them because I think that every one deserves a chance to prove the world wrong.

I don't know if this stems from my youth, and not getting any chances because I had a the reputation of being some kind of bad ass, or if I give people chances they'll pleasantly surprise me and every one around us.

Pay close attention, I hate to admit that some one else was right but, Nadine, Peggy, Lisa, Liz, Bob, and all the others who warned me YOU WERE RIGHT.
I should have known better. I should have steered clear, but I didn't.

How is it possible that I couldn't have seen this on the horizon?
It's not the first time. I keep letting these losers suck me in. I always try to help and in the end... I'm the Asshole WTF???

It's all about the victim. Some one always is the victim. I keep my mouth shut so it must be the other person.

I keep thinking I am going to go talk to the person but that isn't going to happen any time soon. I can't stand the conflict. I finally have some peace in my life and here we are again.
I quit.

It has to be me... No one else is stupid enough to fall for the shit I fall for. If I were talking about a boyfriend or something I am sure all the girls who read this would say been there done that.
For me unfortunately it's not just men... I always get suckered by the needy friends. Of course I always say yes.

Not any more.
I'm done.
(unless it's one of the people I mentioned above... :D )

Lise's Givers and Takers sums it up ...

Work...

SUCKS...


I work a part time job along with all the event coordination that I have to do.


At this part time job I have to deal with the scum of the earth: Real Estate Agents, and all other bottom feeders who work in this industry.


The EGO's are unbelievable... I mean half these people don't have a post secondary education but they proceed to talk down to the part time staff, dare I say in their stupid and barely comprehensible accents... It's ridiculous.

I work on the legal documentation that they need to make deals. You would think that I would be treated nicely right.. not..
They bark orders, and never spell anything right, and then god forbid I get some 300 letter name wrong then it's to the administrators office I go...

Speaking of which... This person is a relic as far as any human resources knowledge may go...
She is always inappropriate and consistently makes stupid statements.

She once told me that I couldn't smoke on my break... WHA???
She's also asked why my husband is using my vehicle and doesn't he have his own...
First off we're not peers. We don't have a friendly relationship so this type of interrogation is way off the appropriate scale.
She denied my raise and then said it would be an insult to me to only give me a quarter an hour more... WHA????

She has consistently messed with the hours I work since the day I started over a year ago. Then she thinks she can ask me to cover shifts when their short staffed... Retard.
Nowadays I am seldom surprised at what comes out of her retarded mouth.
I may be the oldest part time employee here but that doesn't mean that I'm freaking stupid.
The Full time staff here are the most incredibly useless beings on the face of this planet. I am consistently astounded at the fact that they can find their way to work and home on a daily basis.

It truly is amazing.

The part time staff for the most part are decent and cool. We work well together with the exception of one freaking twott drama queen... The rest are good.

I know that next week I'll have more to add...

Trust me...

Ipod Touch... Stupidness.

I love my IPod Touch. I bought it instead of buying the IPhone. I thought there was too much bullshit involved it trying to get a phone from the states. So I bought the touch. It's just as cool but I wonder what people are thinking when they make apps for this little toy of mine.

I jailbroke it using ZIphone.
If I were to write a review for the process I would say:

• ZIphone made it easy
• It worked first shot
• I love my touch more since the hack
• You Tube has many instructional videos on how to jailbreak using the ZIphone hack.
  

If I were to write reviews for half the shit I've downloaded on to my touch I would say THEY SUCK ASS.

Seriously... What is this Aquarium, and butterfly crap.
I understand they are meant to help you waste time but Ugh.
Here are some great apps:

IWoman

• It Helps you track your Aunt Flo
• Keeps a good history so when you have your gyne appts you have information like duration, flow, pms and other important facts ready for the DR.

• Helps you plan around your monthly visitor because it predicts the next couple of months ahead of time for you. (if your not reg. then this is maddening :P)

SummerBoard

• This is awesome because it runs themes for you.
• Vast amount of themes for any taste and age group
• In the picture above I am using the Louie Vuitton theme. It's wicked.
  

Any Games

• You can find a ton of games to dl on your touch/phone
• my favs are Lexitron, Tris, and Domino

Mx Tube

• I like this because I can scan through vids on You Tube and dl them on to the touch and view them even if I'm not any where near a wifi sig.
• can dl more than one vid simultaneously
• good for both touch and phone
  

Respring

• This app allows you to "reboot" the touch/phone with out loosing settings.
• Good to use when changing preferences.

There are way too many USELESS apps to mention. I've tried them and then wondered ... Who thinks of this shit???
Lise Keep sending me the good stuff you little teckno junkie you!

Meh...

What is this "Meh"?
I use it all the time...

MEH...

Q: How was work today?
A: MEH!

Q: How are you feeling?
A: MEH!

I thought I would take a gander on the interweeeb and see what I could find... and BINGO!

INDIFFERENCE! As per the Urban Dictionary... http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care.
They've gone so far as to display a photo of what "Meh" looks like:












The verbal equivalent of a shrug of the shoulders." -quoth me

"(While holding gun to their own head) Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull this trigger!"
"meh."

meh
	used in the greatest tv show of all time The Simpsons. in the episode Hungry, Hungry Homer, bart and lisa respond to a homer inquiry with "meh". mystery solved Homer: Kids, how would you like to go... to Blockoland! Bart & Lisa: Meh. Homer: But the TV. gave the impression that-- Bart: We said "meh". Lisa: M-E-H. Meh.

So now every one can go boldly into life knowing for certain what "Meh" means and use it with confidence.


Yes... I'm a nerd.

Flash Back

I had just left my SIL's (Sister in Law) house, and was driving on Pape towards O'Connor. I heard the screeching tires, looked into the intersection, and as if in slomo or something there he was, airborne. It took a moment for the incident to register.

A motorcyclist was struck in the intersection. Some dummy in a Cadillac tried to make a left hand turn from O'Connor on to Pape north and struck this poor sucker in the intersection.

I found it odd.

I saw his limbs in some contorted fashion in the air. It was like a freeze frame. I wonder if this is how people who witnessed my wreck felt? It was totally surreal. I grabbed my cell and dialed 911 immediately after I understood what had just occured. People were rushing to the guy. I don't know if any one had even thought about calling for help. Lucky for the guy who got smoked it all happened in front of an Ambulance Station. I walked over so that I could give an accurate report to the dispatcher who was still on the phone with me.

I couldn't stay. It hurt too much.
I don't mean hurt in the emotional sense but it hurt psychologically and oddly enough physically.
I felt all my old injuries flare up for a second or two. Weird isn't it?
I've had a head ache ever since.

I found it hard to be there. In fact, I think I lost a couple of seconds somewhere in there. Right after he was hit I don't know what happened. My head stopped working for a moment.

I think I should have stuck around as a witness for the guy but I just couldn't get my head in order.

He was really shaken, but in one piece and conscious. I hope he'll be okay.

What a day off.

Since then I've had my accident in my head all day, and all the crashes every one I know has had. Stupid PTSD.

If I don't sleep tonight, you'll know I'll be posting like a mad woman.

BWAAAA ha ha ha... Stole this from lise... :D

Awesome. Mines late...

Pasteis de Nata

This is what I want to make this week end... :D

It's this custard filled pastry that I tried for the first time at Nade's boyfriends house. They are incredible. We had four for the road, and they were gone almost as soon as we got out of their drive way.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Drooool....

It's been a while since I rode. Infact it's been since 2005. I miss being able to just take off.
So I started looking into it again. It's unlikely that I'll be able to afford a bike this year with the mortgage and all, but I don't mind day dreaming.

I took a quick gander at the Yammie site, and thought I would do a quick comparison of the bikes I might be interested in. I love the R6 so if I were to buy again, that's what it would be. If you know anything about bikes take a gander at the comparison. I would be tempted to purchase the CE just because it's a good looking machine. The S has the best seat hight for me because I'm what you might call SHORT! I'm only about 5'6". In my riding boots I'm closer to 5'6" 1/2 but it's still not very tall at all. my last R6 i could only really flat foot it after I got some time in on the suspension :D.

Liz doesn't ride any more, but she has her full M lic. I think she'll start again, right now she has Brazillian Jiu Jitsu, and a wedding she is planning to keep her busy.

Lisa still rides, but doesn't have enough people to ride with. She's becoming lonely. I think I should get out there and keep her company. My husband says he'd be ok with me getting back into riding again.
I am going to save my pennies... and see where it gets me.
I don't think I'll be buying new, but I'll be ok with looking at a used bike. 2005 would be good. This 2005 is sexy. I love the Yellow. ( my R6 looked just like this but red) I miss her.

Stupid Happy Shows.

So why do these shows make me happy. I love watching America's Best Dance Crew, and So you think you can dance. It's a totally guilty pleasure. I LOVE it. They make me happy.

Its the most amazing thing watching these kids do the stuff they love to do and do it so well. The stuff they do on these shows is absolutely incredible. Some of the tricks are AWESOME.

In ABDC I love Super Cr3w. Their shit is amazing. I always smile when I get to see them do their stuff. I also really liked Supreme Soul.

I kinda thought that the last 3 crews would have been Supreme Soul, Super Cr3w and either Fanny Pack or So Real.

I remember watching an episode of SYTYD with Lise. It was the best hour of our lives... well sort of. It's so easy to get lost in shows like that. For an hour of the day you can forget your own bullshit and watch something that makes you smile.

Who am I?

This is me...
I started riding a while back. I was a tom boy as a child, and loved trucks, and bikes and all the things all little boys loved.
I had transformers, and was totally interested in technology.

It was a natural progression. I liked fast cars, and then found things that could go faster and were cheaper. MOTORCYCLES! I dated guys who rode. It was nice, but being a control freak I really wanted to be the one at the controls. Eventually my friend Liz and I got our licenses. We rode together almost all the time. Liz and I have some pretty funny, and scary stories from those crazy nights out. When we started riding there were only a few other girls out there that rode. Even fewer that rode well. (not saying I'm awesome or anything) I remember Liz's first bike...
She called it Smartie. It was a blue Honda CB1 (400 cc) If I were to describe it I would say the bike was closer to a standard than a sport touring bike. My first bike was a Yamaha Fzr 600. (1989 i think) For the longest time we were the only two girls that would ride all over the City.
Liz's second bike was this awesome Yamaha YZF 750sp (sp stands for Solo Pilot) It was this neat forest green colour.

I loved those days. Nothing made me happier than getting my gear on and getting out there. As soon as the snow melted in the spring I was out there. I rode some years until December... (long johns, balaclava and little gloves under all my other gear kept me warm)

I guess I was kinda hard core in that sense. I would ride at any cost. Hot or cold it didn't make a difference.
I rode when I was sad and it made me happy, I rode when I had to think about stuff, and I felt better and came to decisions, I rode when I was bored and found friends and excitement.
Long rides, short rides, I rode to work, and to meet for coffee. I rode to the mall, and to the dentist... :D

It was all I could think about. After the accident, I got back into it as soon as I could. There's a great story there. I tell you about it some other time.
When my last bike was stolen I hadn't done my M exit yet, and my license expired. Now I am JUST A G DRIVER. ARG...
I want to go back, and get my M Lic. back. I guess I'll have to wait untill next year. Meh.

I like to have a good time with my friends. Especially when it's a birthday party for Moi at Rocky Mountain High... I can be a goofy broad sometimes. I think this picture demonstrates some of my goofyness.
There are tones of these pictures scattered all over the internet thanks to Lise.
Especially the ones from Niagara Falls that lisa loves to share with the whole world. Good times ...
I remember jumping on the bed.

Then I remember laughing my ass off... Can you tell what happened? I swear... It was all good until I heard this THUD... Lise had hit her freaking head on the ceiling. I am not a good friend. I laughed... I laughed hard. (thanks Cess for the photo evidence!) Now that I look at those pictures I can't believe I never noticed Lise Holding her boobs. lol.

I love my BIG ASS TRUCK! I drive a Yukon Denali xl. I bought it because I work in the event coordination field and can can carry all kinds of stuff for clients. I am used to getting looks from people when I rode all the time, I still get them now it's because I look so small in my vehicle.

My husband and I owned a tow truck. We recently sold it. my husband worked it for years. He was sick of the bullshit in the industry, so we got him a 9-5. He likes it better, and he's not nearly as stressed out any more. Mind you he took a pay cut, but I prefer that he's healthy, so far we're making ends meet.
I like my men to look mean, but be the biggest sweethearts. I think every one should have a "Bob"
There have got to be a tone of pictures of Bob giving people the finger.

I guess that's enough about me for the next little while.

Ciao.

Crash Birthday.... LISE

So this coming week. Probably on Wednesday I am going to go to T&co. I think I am going to be purchasing my "Crash" birthday present.

So I am thinking about the Somerset ring (wide). I have been thinking about this one for a while... But I don't know for sure.



I also really like the new one they have, its the Tiffany notes collection.... I like the scrolly writing on it, and it's not typical. I especially like it because it's new.
I think this one is going to be a hard decision. The only thing I would actually be worried about is the writing on the notes ring. Would it fade over time? I mean I hope not, but I could just see it happening.
:D

The price isn't going to make the decision for me either. They're both 215 CAD...

Lise help... :D
I mean I have a profile set up with the tiffany's website, and it there are LOTS of things that I would be putting on a wish list for my husband to purchase for me, or things I would like to buy for my self.

LOTS of things... :D


I actually kind of like this black bean Elsa Peretti thing...

It's neat and different. I'm torn. I like the look of it, and it would look awesome under a white top or a button down with a collar. (been a while since I wore one of those.. :D)



I mean I could just as easily buy a charm for my bracelet. There's this one titanium charm that I feel would match me and my personality, and my titanium arm. I would probably wear the bracelet on the Ti arm. Kinda symbolic no?
I like it.
I first saw it when my friend Stephanie wore it to work the other day.
I was quite impressed.
She thought it was onyx but it's Titanium.
I actually considered getting a Ti ring, but god forbid anything happen they'd have to cut my finger off!
Knowing my luck, I thought it might be best to forgo the Ti ring altogether,
They don't call me crash for nothing.

Disapointment

In case you were wondering; I didn't sell my R6.
It was STOLEN.
By some pieces of shit from the underground while I was in Greece. It was blocked in by a car and a zx7. The fucktards who took it lifted it over the car. and threw it into a van ON HER SIDE! Bastards. (saw the security video)

All I could think of while I was away was my bike. I was so excited about returning home and going for a ride and hanging out with my friends.

No one called me to tell me when i was in greece that the bike was gone. Infact they waited until I got home and was talking about going for a ride.

I am still pissed at them for that. I am sure in their minds they were doing the right thing, but it made everything brutally worse. My Uncle had passed away while I was in Greece. They weren't going to tell me. I found out by accident.

I was going to take a trip to Alabama when I got back to visit my Uncle George. That didn't quite work out the way I had planned. I hate when people keep shit from me because I am one of those people who plans and expects to be able to do what I plan. Otherwise I am seriously disappointed.

That summer there were a few.

I always tell people don't ever promise me anything. Don't even if you think you are going to follow through with it don't do it. I HATE the feeling of disappointment.


I loved that Bike.
I didn't get to ride it much. It only had 700 km on it when it was stolen.
Meh.

&($(*% DVP!

Ok so last night I wasn't feeling so hot and couldn't fall asleep. I left the bedroom and turned on the TV in the living room, had a snack, and lied on the couch watching stupid stuff.
Every time I felt my eyelids starting to close, I heard a slew of bikes on the DVP .

It doesn't help that I've been pm-sing and cramping for like a week! My stupid period is late but the cramps showed up right on time. WTH?!


Arg.

At least there isn't going to be any rain today.


I hope.

How it all began.....

It was Aug 2002 I was riding my motorcycle southbound on Yonge St. when WHAM... Hit by a car.
What ensued? Quite a few months of being bed ridden, heavy physio, continued cognitive exercises, post traumatic stress disorder and a new me....

I broke more bones in one shot than most people do in a life time, but I'm still here, sometimes I wonder why but that's just the way it is.

Now, every August I celebrate my new birthday or as my closest friends know it my "Crash Birthday". I feel as if I had to put away the old Chris (Kind of like mourning the loss of a close relative) and begin "living" as the new not really improved Chris. One of the little things I do is buy something small from T&co. every year. It's a small reminder of something that has left such a huge impression on my life.

I still don't know if I should be thankful that I made it. Sometime I struggle with why I was spared and others I know didn't make it. (deaths and injury are common place amongst motorcyclists in the Greater Toronto Area due to the sheer lack of care that other motorists display when driving (if you can call it that) their vehicles on the roads around here, and the lack of well maintained roads and highways).

I was a thin girl with LONG straight hair. I was going through a hard time then. I didn't have a job, and was trying to decide what path I wanted to take.

I had only completed a couple of years of University and I felt like I was completely lost...

Since then: Continued to ride, Yamaha rz 350, Yzf 750R, and an R6, Started a motorcycle forum and eventually took it down, started a motorcycle
club, threw one hell of an end of season bash for charity, designed and sold clothing to raise money for the club, rode Deals Gap Hwy129 ,I have completed a couple of certificates (3 to be exact) Started a business (not doing so hot right now... but I'm sure it will get better.) got engaged, got married and bought a condo with my husband. I tell all the important people that I love them, and try to show them every day. (those are the positive things)

I have put on weight, still struggle cognitively and physically, and still don't know where life is going to take me... and somehow I always wonder if today is going to be my last... (obviously the negative things)

At first after the accident every one used to say I seemed so ANGRY... I was I guess. Angry at the world, and the master plan if there is one.

Since then I've become quite a lot more patient, and not prepared to fight any one at any time.
I might even be patient to a fault, and want to avoid confrontation at almost any cost.
It's so weird how one person can go from one extreme to another in a few years. I used to have to see a Neuro-psychologist and see told me how these these things are normal, even if it didn't feel that way to me.

Out of it all I found that only 3 friends in my life really meant it when they said they'd be there for me no matter what, and they are. I'm lucky to have them.

I did get back on the horse. I rode for a couple of years after the crash.

















I can't tell you how much I miss riding. It was the one thing that I loved more than anything else in the world.

The Condo my husband and I bought is right by the DVP, and I can hear them flying by every night... *sigh* one day....

to be continued....